Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
