I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
