he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I understand Curling. That high.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
