i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
