Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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