I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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