I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
