As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
