I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
