The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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