she was so not down for the gang bang
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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