you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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