ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
