I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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