White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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