Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize