i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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