With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
