So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize