if you like me you must not know who I am
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
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she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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