you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
