Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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