I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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