We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
