Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
