just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize