Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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