Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
