i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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