U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
