I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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