is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
