Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize