I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
