$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize