Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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