this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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