"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
