I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
not ubering you a puppy
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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