Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just had sex on a roof
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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