next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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