i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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