It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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