She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my phone needs a breathalizer
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
