about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So many bounce houses so little time
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
