What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
