idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
