If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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