weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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