i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
