Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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