Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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