Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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