what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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