I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i've created a new STD.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
