I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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