last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize