I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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