You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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