dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
