after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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