some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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